lol to the Coors light.
Being totally serious though-- isn't this post way worse than errod's?:huh:
just sayin'
Funny Stuff
cereal rant:
you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
Lucky Charms.
FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, BITCH!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."
you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
the Trix rabbit, for example
I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
"silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
"Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
NO.
I'd be thinking
"that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
Lucky Charms.
FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
C'mon now, Lucky.
I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
"They're after me Lucky Charms!"
....
KILL THEM, BITCH!
I dunno why I went off on this rant here
it's just always bothered me."
"20<cut off="">"</cut>
-
coloradomx6
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:14
- Location: Brush, Co.
[font=Verdana][color=black][font=Verdana][B]T[/color][/font][/B][color=#010101][font=Georgia][B]he Aisle Seat[/color][/font][/B][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=black][font=Verdana][/color][/font][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=#010101][font=Georgia]Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'[/color][/font][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=black][font=Verdana][/color][/font][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=#010101][font=Georgia]As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.[/color][/font][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=black][font=Verdana][/color][/font][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=#010101][font=Georgia]As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?'[/color][/font][color=black][font=Helvetica][/color][/font][color=black][font=Verdana][/color][/font]
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[align=center][color=#010101][font=Georgia][B]THE FEW. THE PROUD.[/color][/font][/B]
[color=#010101][font=Georgia][B]THE MARINES.[/color][/font][/B]
[color=#010101][font=Georgia][B]THE MARINES.[/color][/font][/B]
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[/font]
one and one makes two, together we are free
A woman decides to have a face-lift for her 50th birthday. She spend $15,000and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope
you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very
slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very
slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
"20<cut off="">"</cut>
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.”
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
“You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
“Well, did you see this?”
“Yes,” motioned the monkey.
“What happened?”
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
“They were drinking?” asked the officer.
“Yes.”
“What else?”
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
“They were smoking marijuana?”
“Yes.”
“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked.”
“Yes.”
“What were you doing during all this?”
“Driving” motioned the monkey.
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
“You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
“Well, did you see this?”
“Yes,” motioned the monkey.
“What happened?”
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
“They were drinking?” asked the officer.
“Yes.”
“What else?”
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
“They were smoking marijuana?”
“Yes.”
“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked.”
“Yes.”
“What were you doing during all this?”
“Driving” motioned the monkey.
"20<cut off="">"</cut>
one more I couldn't resist:
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." The girl looked at him, then said, "NO." Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.... so she called him and explained the situation. Her Boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened....?
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
"The bastard paid in quarters!"
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." The girl looked at him, then said, "NO." Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.... so she called him and explained the situation. Her Boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened....?
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
"The bastard paid in quarters!"
"20<cut off="">"</cut>
last one I swear:
An ugly guys walks into a bar with a huge smile on his face. The bartender looks at him and says "what the hell are you so happy about? You've been coming to this bar now for 10 years and this is the first time I've ever seen you smile."
The ugly guy looks at the bartender and says "ooooh last night I had the best night of my life"
"Really" replied the bartender. "what the hell happened?"
The ugly guy says, "well you know how I live near the rail road tracks? Well last night on my way home from here It was like a scene out of a movie. I see a girl tied to the train tracks. I quickly run over there and and untie her before a train passes. Long story short we go back to my house and we start having sex. The best sex I've ever had. We did it in the kitchen, my living room, the bathroom, all over the house and all night long."
The bartender goes "wow thats amazing you lucky bastard. Was she cute?"
"I don't know", replies the ugly guy, "I haven't found her head yet."
An ugly guys walks into a bar with a huge smile on his face. The bartender looks at him and says "what the hell are you so happy about? You've been coming to this bar now for 10 years and this is the first time I've ever seen you smile."
The ugly guy looks at the bartender and says "ooooh last night I had the best night of my life"
"Really" replied the bartender. "what the hell happened?"
The ugly guy says, "well you know how I live near the rail road tracks? Well last night on my way home from here It was like a scene out of a movie. I see a girl tied to the train tracks. I quickly run over there and and untie her before a train passes. Long story short we go back to my house and we start having sex. The best sex I've ever had. We did it in the kitchen, my living room, the bathroom, all over the house and all night long."
The bartender goes "wow thats amazing you lucky bastard. Was she cute?"
"I don't know", replies the ugly guy, "I haven't found her head yet."
"20<cut off="">"</cut>
John and Billy fancied a pint or two but didn't
have a lot of money between them;
they could only raise the staggering sum of
one dollar.
John said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'
He went next door to the butcher's
shop on Duckworth St. In
St. John's and came out with one large sausage.
John said 'Are you crazy?
Now we don't have any money at all!'
Billy replied, 'Don't worry, I have a plan - just follow me.'
He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of
India and two glasses of Newfie Screech.
John said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much
trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!'
Billy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, Cheers! '
They downed their drinks. John said,
'OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and
you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.'
The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more
drunk - all for free.
At the tenth pub on George St. John said
'Billy - I don't think I can
do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!'
Billy said, 'How do you think I feel? I can't even
remember which Tavern I lost the sausage in.'
have a lot of money between them;
they could only raise the staggering sum of
one dollar.
John said 'Hang on, I have an idea.'
He went next door to the butcher's
shop on Duckworth St. In
St. John's and came out with one large sausage.
John said 'Are you crazy?
Now we don't have any money at all!'
Billy replied, 'Don't worry, I have a plan - just follow me.'
He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of
India and two glasses of Newfie Screech.
John said 'Now you've lost it. Do you know how much
trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!'
Billy replied, with a smile. 'Don't worry, Cheers! '
They downed their drinks. John said,
'OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and
you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.'
The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more
drunk - all for free.
At the tenth pub on George St. John said
'Billy - I don't think I can
do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!'
Billy said, 'How do you think I feel? I can't even
remember which Tavern I lost the sausage in.'
"20<cut off="">"</cut>
[ame]http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000JTOYLS/ref=cm_rdp_product[/ame]
Read some of the reviews. I LOL'd.
Read some of the reviews. I LOL'd.
2015 Ironman Silver Veloster Turbo - Bone stock and staying that way
1990 Crystal White Miata - Beater - Bignose 1.6L Swap, Robbins Top w/Glass Window, E-Codes, Air Horns, Brembo Rotors
Former Rides:
2011 Kona Blue Mustang GT 5.0
2009 True Red Mazdaspeed3 GT
2005 Flame Red SRT-4
1990 Crystal White Miata - Beater - Bignose 1.6L Swap, Robbins Top w/Glass Window, E-Codes, Air Horns, Brembo Rotors
Former Rides:
2011 Kona Blue Mustang GT 5.0
2009 True Red Mazdaspeed3 GT
2005 Flame Red SRT-4
-
RX-7 Chris
- Posts: 7800
- Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:14
- Location: Colorado Springs
- Contact:
Those are great
1984 RX-7 GSL-SE [size=84]My restomod project[/SIZE]
1964 Ford Galaxie 500XL flat black w/ white interior, 2 dr fastback, 390 thunderbird, C6 auto, 2500 rpm high stall converter, shift kit, AC, Holley 750 cfm
[size=100]RIP 1983 RX-7[/SIZE]
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