Funny Stuff

SpeedRacer · Postby **SpeedRacer** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:14

lol... you were a failure lol... I was mean mcfatty but you work too.

MazdaGurl · Postby **MazdaGurl** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

Why you should monitor what your kids watch:

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as
he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his
eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such
innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. 'Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?' she asked.

'They're mating,' her father replied.

'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked. 'That's a Daddy
Longlegs,' her father answered. 'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little
girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he
replied 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat, saying 'Well, we're not having any of that
broke back mountain shit in our garden!'

[img]http://coloradomazdaclub.com/forums/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

mazda3co · Postby **mazda3co** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (MazdaGurl @ Oct 5 2007, 11:12 AM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=3635]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

Why you should monitor what your kids watch:

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as
he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his
eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such
innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. 'Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?' she asked.

'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked. 'That's a Daddy
Longlegs,' her father answered. 'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little
girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he
replied 'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat, saying 'Well, we're not having any of that
broke back mountain shit in our garden!'

[img]http://coloradomazdaclub.com/forums/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img][/b]

That's hilarious!

Postby **RX-7 Chris** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (MazdaGurl @ Sep 27 2007, 12:28 PM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=2035]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

How To Install A Redneck Home Security System

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's
Work Boots size 14-16 (used)
2. Place them on front porch, along with a copy of
Gun And Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazine
4. Leave a note on your door that reads

Hay Bubba,

Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I gone for more ammunition.
Will be back in one hour. Don't mess with the pit
bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part
in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all of the dog's in the house. Better
Just wait outside until we can get back.

Cooter[/b]

sounds like something a friend of mine over in Grand Junction would do

mazda3co · Postby **mazda3co** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

Cooter. LoL.

MazdaGurl · Postby **MazdaGurl** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female..... Any part under a car's hood.
Male.... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.. A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

Anh Bi · Postby **Anh Bi** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

ZoomPrincess · Postby **ZoomPrincess** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 9:14

poor dog, not only is it strapped to the back of that person, it looks like it has a jacket or costume on too.. haha

mazda3co · Postby **mazda3co** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 9:14

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Unfortunately, the pictures didn't move over, but you get the jist. Yo quiero Taco Bulb! LoL

tsx_guy · Postby **tsx_guy** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:14

good stuff...haven't been overhere in a while....I have been missing out. [img]http://coloradomazdaclub.com/forums/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif[/img]

broke back spiders was a riot

SpeedRacer · Postby **SpeedRacer** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 9:14

you haven't been over here cause yer not funny duh.

tsx_guy · Postby **tsx_guy** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:14

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (SpeedRacer @ Oct 10 2007, 09:34 PM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=4549]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

you haven't been over here cause yer not funny duh.[/b]

ouch!...someone didn't get their...uh...nap yesterday....

clownphish · Postby **clownphish** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:14

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Anh Bi @ Oct 5 2007, 03:45 PM) [url=index.php?act=findpost&pid=3655]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/url]</div>

*Pom on bike[/b]

Oh mah God... that is effing hilarious.

mazda3co · Postby **mazda3co** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:14

Okay, this is so hilarious. Turn your sound up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGyww352Wl8

ZoomPrincess · Postby **ZoomPrincess** » Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:14

Funny Stuff

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