From most loving to heartless??

[PXRdriFT]

Man, Eric, sorry to hear that. I certainly didn't see this coming.

[speedjunkie]

Yeah sometimes it's easy to pick out faults and issues and feel better about this, kinda convince myself it's for the best and there is someone better. But I just can't keep from remembering all the good times and wishing I had that back. I wish I could just keep looping the past year over and over for the rest of my life. I was also thinking she will probably have a very hard time getting over the trauma of her marriage. I just wanna beat that guy into the ground for what he did to her. I just wish she'd avoided him altogether and we could have met some other way. But I guess things happen for a reason, and it's ironic but I used to tell her that too, that things happen for a reason.

Yeah Frank, I had no idea this was coming either, no one did. ESPECIALLY people that knew us together, everyone was shocked.

[GR-8]

Just to clear my first post up. I didn't mean that YOU abused her and that's why your relationship with her and her past relationship were on the same path. I meant.... Perhaps her past marraige started off the same way.... full of love and happiness and always being great but then went downhill after she got married. And being at her sisters Wedding she got hit with fear and anxiety.

I was in a similar boat as Ranger almost 1.5ish yrs ago. It took a while to get over it. Being overseas on vacation for 2 months didn't help much either. I was stuck in a "tunnel vision of love" for a while. But with time everything healed. Just give things time and look to the future. There's no point in wasting time dwelling on the past. Eventhough you think there's no bright side to your future now, it's cause your still in "tunnel vision", there is one. Never know what'll be in the future till you get there.

[quote="Ranger"]........
At any rate my point is, you've just gotta keep in mind that it's not your fault, at least from what I can tell. Sure, you may be kicking yourself over a couple things you think you did wrong, but if she really loved you and wanted to be with you, she would understand. I'm no psychologist, but I do know that trauma is one of the hardest things to get over---because, after being traumatized, people subconsciously continue to seek out that trauma, despite how much they hated it. It's one of the more bizarre aspects of the human mind. In shunning you, it seems like she is reaching out for the very thing she supposedly doesn't want........... [quote]
Completely agree here.

[06SpiceRed]

Eric, its a tough spot buddy theres no doubt about it. Lifes tough at times and it can be a serious *** kicking when we just look back and cant figure out where we went wrong. I know how you're feeling, been there, seen it, felt it. Trust me on that one.

[RX-7 Chris]

Eric, just remember that for a marrage to work, you both have to be for it 100%. If either of you have any second thoughts, it will probably fail at some time or another. There is quite a bit more to marriage than love.

When you get back into town, we can sit down and talk.

[I`m Batman]

"... she said she felt that is what God wanted her to do, and she thought He just wanted her to suffer... "

Dood, you totally dodged the bullet on that one. Something is not right in her head if that's what she said...

It sucks but you'll get over it, you have to get over it. I don't know how old you are... But I've been hurt before when I was younger, it just makes you stronger each time. Do you know how many girls I thought I was going to marry when I was with them? LOL If something like this happens to me today, it won't even phase me.

You should be glad and happy that you are a free man and you now can concentrate on more important things. You will meet someone else. There's no point of being sad and let it affect your life. It's not going to do anything for you, just wasting your time. You have much more important things to worry about. You should spend your time and energy on that instead of some GIRL. She's just a girl... and from my experience, ALL girls are crazy one way or another. Some more than others. But they are ALL crazy... so you'll just have to accept it. LOL.

[I`m Batman]

Oh, and thank you for protecting our country. Stay safe!

[mOOsE]

But they are ALL crazy... so you'll just have to accept it. LOL.

this.

[geo2maz]

/\ lol true dat.
But yeah, this girl has PTSD issues she needs to work through, and being alone will help her with that. Give her space and don't contact her anymore, and hopefully with time she will heal and grow strong, and maybe will realize what she threw away and come back to you.

Soon enough, a pretty, godless heathen will come along to snatch you up, chicks are always man-hunting like that. >:)

[AIM WO4]

This would have been my warning sign:

... However, she was married so I never pressed any further than that. We exchanged numbers anyway because she said I could come over to their house and they would make dinner for me or whatever.

I've learned a lot about dating and relationships over my many years... failures and successes.

Dating can be fun if you know what you really need in a partner. Rely on your first impressions, but base them on guidelines.

Bottom line. You will never learn if you never try. Move on.

[LaginWagon]

Another guy, plain & simple. She met a new guy, told him the same things she told you about her Ex (I'm sure it was all BS and she was bored with him ect.) and now it's your turn to have the blame thrown on you as she talks to the new guy.

Seen this many, many times before. She'll deny it 'till her grave that, that's not it, but it is.

Yes, you dodged a bullet....

[GTConversion]

I'd buy you a beer if I knew you, sorry to hear about this.. read through the whole thread..

Sometimes this makes me feel better:
http://www.break.com/index/bitches_aint_shit_a_capella.html

[RX-7 Chris]

Another guy, plain & simple. She met a new guy, told him the same things she told you about her Ex (I'm sure it was all BS and she was bored with him ect.) and now it's your turn to have the blame thrown on you as she talks to the new guy.

Seen this many, many times before. She'll deny it 'till her grave that, that's not it, but it is.

Yes, you dodged a bullet....

to bad this isn't true. I know for a fact, my wife is friends with her.

[mOOsE]

to bad this isn't true. I know for a fact, my wife is friends with her.

Be strange if it was. My experience has been that women jump from one relationship to another... they generally don't just break up. There's always exceptions but IMO... dudes breakup = want to be single, women breakup = another dude in progress.

[speedjunkie]

Just to clear my first post up. I didn't mean that YOU abused her and that's why your relationship with her and her past relationship were on the same path. I meant.... Perhaps her past marraige started off the same way.... full of love and happiness and always being great but then went downhill after she got married. And being at her sisters Wedding she got hit with fear and anxiety.

I was in a similar boat as Ranger almost 1.5ish yrs ago. It took a while to get over it. Being overseas on vacation for 2 months didn't help much either. I was stuck in a "tunnel vision of love" for a while. But with time everything healed. Just give things time and look to the future. There's no point in wasting time dwelling on the past. Eventhough you think there's no bright side to your future now, it's cause your still in "tunnel vision", there is one. Never know what'll be in the future till you get there.

Oh I see what you were saying now. However, from everything she told me about him, he was ALWAYS like that, which is why I had such a hard time figuring out why she married him in the first place. I mean, I understand having faith in God, but I still don't understand even in that circumstance why someone would think God would want them to suffer.

And being over here without all the distractions of home really makes it easy to be religious/spiritual/etc. And maybe I do have a tunnel of love going on, not sure. I'm quite a bit better now than I was a week ago though. But I know once I get home all kinds of feelings will come back and I'll be bummed again, especially the first couple nights back home and staying in the house all by myself, the same house we were going to raise a family in.

Eric, its a tough spot buddy theres no doubt about it. Lifes tough at times and it can be a serious *** kicking when we just look back and cant figure out where we went wrong. I know how you're feeling, been there, seen it, felt it. Trust me on that one.

Yeah I hear ya. I'm right there with you.

Eric, just remember that for a marrage to work, you both have to be for it 100%. If either of you have any second thoughts, it will probably fail at some time or another. There is quite a bit more to marriage than love.

When you get back into town, we can sit down and talk.

When I was there, I think we were both putting in at least 100%, and we were super strong, or so I thought. But I think being over here I let her down because I wasn't used to having to take care of someone's needs back home, only my own needs over here. I just wish she'd have at least waited to make such a decision until I got back and we could talk. Especially when she's making an assessment of me as a person and I'm not even there, that's just kooky.

"... she said she felt that is what God wanted her to do, and she thought He just wanted her to suffer... "

Dood, you totally dodged the bullet on that one. Something is not right in her head if that's what she said...

It sucks but you'll get over it, you have to get over it. I don't know how old you are... But I've been hurt before when I was younger, it just makes you stronger each time. Do you know how many girls I thought I was going to marry when I was with them? LOL If something like this happens to me today, it won't even phase me.

You should be glad and happy that you are a free man and you now can concentrate on more important things. You will meet someone else. There's no point of being sad and let it affect your life. It's not going to do anything for you, just wasting your time. You have much more important things to worry about. You should spend your time and energy on that instead of some GIRL. She's just a girl... and from my experience, ALL girls are crazy one way or another. Some more than others. But they are ALL crazy... so you'll just have to accept it. LOL.

I'm 32, and I've been through my fair share. The first girl I ever got with was a cheating girlfriend, which if anyone believes in karma, they will say that's what is still getting me haha. Then I had a gf in Missouri while I was in Japan...she left me right before I came back to the US so she could be with her personal trainer (and now it seems like she wants to get back together, but I'd kinda rather move forward, not backward). Then I had a girl that moved from Chicago to NC to be with me, and she ended up being an alcoholic and might as well have been a prostitute working pro-bono (or pro-boner in her case). Then I fell for someone that wasn't into me, and that killed me too. Then I had the psycho that latched on two years ago when I first got CO...one month/about $8k/30lbs and a restraining order later she was gone. I met Kellen right after her. Kellen is the only one that had every single thing I had ever looked for in a wife, and even more than that. She is the only one I had ever looked at and could picture myself marrying. I had talked marriage with most of the past gf's, but I just couldn't picture it with any of them until Kellen, and I could never picture having kids with any of them until Kellen. My first and second actual relationships lasted 2 years almost exactly. The psycho was a month (let me be clear I NEVER loved that girl, she was just a leach) and Kellen and I lasted about a year and a half, depending on when you start counting.

To sum it up, I've had my share of heartbreak and bad breaks, and as far as heartbreak, this is by far the worst so far. Mostly because this was the first time I was 100% sure of it and in my mind, there was nothing that could tear us apart...in both our eyes, according to her too at the time anyway, we were the image of a perfect relationship with perfect love. I had mentioned before that we shouldn't think of it as perfect because then you think you are invincible and no one and no couple is, but maybe I was too late.

The main problem for me is that I don't WANT to be single this time. None of the previous times have I stayed in the engaged/married mindset after breaking up. I want to start a family now, before, I never wanted kids mainly because they would take money away from the car haha. Now, I kinda could care less if I had the car. I want to concentrate on more important things, mainly wife and family...except both of those just ejected. I'm so sick of going through this crap every couple years or so.

Oh, and thank you for protecting our country. Stay safe!

No problem, my pleasure! Thanks for your support! Although I think my Army and Marine buddies do a lot more of the protecting part haha.