Closed my thread...wtf!

[rmeeker13]

I didn't realize I stirred up some shit by asking a simple question!
I don't know Bree or 99% of you on this forum but I have made some friends in the last year! So for that I say thank you to cmzc but people need to understand this is a forum and thats it. If its ur whole life I feel very sorry for you. With that said I no longer want to be part of this forum either, If ur going to delete my threads then why should I post anything?

MODS, please delete my account, thank you.

[geo2maz]

I agree with you... that kind of irked me.

[Stealth01]

I agree, and I have to question the wisdom of, motives for, and results of continual suppression of any talk about the drama that has gone on in this club. Secrecy is great if you're trying to keep an edge over the competition, save lives, or protect national security, but when you're talking about a web site and club for Mazda enthusiasts, it represents nothing more than institutionalized insecurity and fear.

Drama happens on the internet. You talk about it, ban the offending morons, and move on. Failure to discuss it, keeping this secret, and so on only keep the club/forum from reaching its full potential. And it makes the mods look like they're protecting their personal interests rather than those of the club as a whole.

I vote for openness. Glasnost all the way.

[tsx_guy]

I didn't realize I stirred up some shit by asking a simple question!
I don't know Bree or 99% of you on this forum but I have made some friends in the last year! So for that I say thank you to cmzc but people need to understand this is a forum and thats it. If its ur whole life I feel very sorry for you. With that said I no longer want to be part of this forum either, If ur going to delete my threads then why should I post anything?

MODS, please delete my account, thank you.

it is my whole life. *sob*

[Stealth01]

it is my whole life. *sob*

If that's you in your avatar, I believe this!

[~Barn~]

Yikes... I thought the forum had turned a corner in terms of letting "edgy" threads live and die along their natural course. Obviously this forum isn't fill with hot-heads, and jerks, and other spout-offs, so it's tough to see a thread get the ax, that never really took a turn for something regretable.

I agree that if the site Mods stifle speech for any reason that isn't fully grounded in proper moderation, then the whole place starts swaying toward the direction of becoming less a public forum, and more of a personal bulletin board, that we may or may not be allowed to post to.

It's a tough job for sure, being a Mod, but removing the personal from the "professional" (for lack of a better term), needs to be the rule of the day. If not, you clearly run the risk of alienating the membership, halting the free-flowing dialog, and shining more unwanted attention on forum as a whole, than the original, "questionable" thread would have ever done.

Then again, this isn't a democracy. There is no valid counterpoint to that fact.

[~Barn~]

P.S. I hope you guys don't delete Randy's account, despite his request. He's one of my favorite contributors.

[JmJasky2]

The decision to close the thread did seem a bit drastic, but I can't entirely agree with the other comments.

I believe openness is a good thing, but when it comes to requests to post aspects of another individual's personal life (when that individual is no longer able to contribute or clarify the progress of that discussion) in order to satisfy our desires to "be in the know"... that seriously borders (if not tips over into) unwise openness.

Clearly, neither Bree nor anyone else who was involved decided to post what transpired, so we can assume that they didn’t really wants to make it public. And clearly, those already in the know have a sense that those directly involved don’t wish to have this information spread around. As is their right. It is their lives, anyway. If we knew they were fine with it, then yea, post the drama on the ‘net and move on. But all indications seem to point to a deeply personal event that shouldn’t be posted.

If anything, gossiping about the personal lives of other forum members is not beneficial to the club. How would we expect to gain new, participating club members if they were to see that thread? They would soon come to the conclusion that we are the type who will fully disclose personal information about stuff that happens in the lives of former-members as soon as their back is turned as long as the info is juicy enough and the drama-factor is strong enough. And we won’t gain new members. No one would trust anyone, no relationships would develop, and the club would die. That is hardly reaching the club’s full potential.

If we were just a club concerned with online numbers, then yea, we probably could grow from stuff like that. But we are more than that. We are a group of like-minded individuals, who meet in groups when we can, who go over to work on each other’s cars when we can, who lend each other parts or give advice, or offer rides. We are a club that is based on personal relationships. And those require trust. And that can only grow when we, as members show discretion.

Now, I don’t believe that this was the intention of the thread. To draw out personal information for gossip’s sake. But that is quickly the route it took. And in order to protect the personal life and information of a highly valued former-member from the information-hungry members (of which, I admit, I was one when I first read thru that thread) the mods decided the best course was to prevent it from getting progressing. Which is their job. Sure, you can post about nearly anything on this forum. But we don’t have a right to post anything we choose. If that were true, then the existence of mods in the first place would be pointless. So long as the threads posted are in line with the goal of the club, I doubt it would be removed.

I guess that I do support the decision of the mods.
I’m not trying to be a jerk. I just want to see the club continue to grow.
Shit happens, it’s how you deal with it that makes the difference.

[Stealth01]

Now, I don’t believe that this was the intention of the thread. To draw out personal information for gossip’s sake. But that is quickly the route it took.

I disagree with that statement. At no point did anyone say, "What conflict did Bree have?" or "Hey, fill us in on the gory details of this drama."

Someone said there was an interpersonal conflict and she left. Tbot offered to tell Randy privately offline. Another person (one of the few who's been here since the beginning, as I have) asked for a PM too. Those both sound like mature, common sense ways to handle the question, not prying or trying to open up her personal life for public inspection.

No one seriously asked for Bree's dirty laundry to appear online for everyone to see, and I'm sure those with knowledge of the situation weren't going to send stuff she didn't want public to anyone, PM or otherwise.

The basis of a club like this is founded in like interests and TRUST. The problem with shutting down a thread that hasn't turned any negative corners is that it screams that the mods don't trust the membership.

No, this is not a democracy, but if the club wants to survive, it needs some democratic qualities. A simple, "let's not pry into Bree's personal life" from a mod would have sufficed, and probably not faced ANY objections. Those who objected could be easily ignored. Shutting down the thread merely resulted in a threat ABOUT shutting down the thread, and made it seem like the mods were treating the membership like a bunch of kids being told to shut up and sit in the corner.

And for those whining that the thread looked like 7th grade -- bull. People are naturally curious about a great lady who did a lot for the club and is missed. Maybe, before we start getting all butt hurt and worried about drama we could try something like, "she left for personal reasons and we owe it to her to not get into details" before we start acting superior.

[tbot]

Well randy I guess I'll size ya on msf then lol.

[Stealth01]

Well randy I guess I'll size ya on msf then lol.

Perhaps my grasp of modern slang isn't what it should be, but why are you "sizing" Randy? And what units of measure are you using?

[~Barn~]

Now we're back to normal!

[rmeeker13]

I really don't even care what happened, I thought maybe she moved or some shit!
Im not trying to pry into peoples shit, I was honestly just curious where she went, she usually always had good things to say to people and was ALL ABOUT this club and her ms3, in fact I don't know anyone who loved their car more than her.

Sorry TSX GUY, it is addicting at times! But seriously if im going to get my stuff taken down I simply wont bother anymore. And yes im still on msf and 6club.

[JmJasky2]

I've never been bothered with stating my opinions or thoughts or even speaking in public. But right now, I am really nervous because everyone posting here is someone I have (over the last 5/6 months since moving to CO, buying my Speed6, and finding this site) hoped to someday meet and get to know. You all seem like amazing people. Especially you, Stealth. So understand that I absolutely do not mean to be divisive or rude in any manner or possible interpretation.

My impressions from the thread under question, is that many people were asking for someone to "fill us in". Sure it wasn't blatant requests for drama. The offers for PM's were indeed a great way to handle it. But there were still requests for filling "us" in. For a broader distribution of the information, beyond those who have been around forever. But this is only my interpretation of what I was reading.

I agree, your suggested statement of "she left for personal reasons and we owe it to her to not get into details" is a good way to handle it and that is one of the last posts that went up. And probably it would have been better to say like you said, "let's not get into her personal life" and just leave it there.

I don't know. I support the mods because it seemed (in my personal view) like it was getting a bit sketchy. But then I also agree with you, Stealth. Maybe if it was to happen again, it would end differently.

I hope like heck that I wasn't coming across as superior. I really think this is a great group and hope I've not lost anyone's good graces.

[bellalyssa]

If people want to know, they can find out.

Unfortunately I feel like some, thinking to protect Bree or the work that she did, stifled conversation that came from a simple question.

I don't agree with it, but I can understand the reasons for doing it.